I believe that with any significant breakthrough there’s a surrender point. Surrender has been tricky for me to understand and articulate. Perhaps it’s something you have to experience and not something one can adequately describe to anyone else.

I’ve been to the sad frustrated “I give up. Whatever you want, Lord,” point. That place feels defeated. It feels like your confidence is shattered, and you’re just going to submit to be thrown and tossed wherever God wants to sling you.

I realize now that this is really not the type of surrender the Lord wants. Or maybe He is okay with it because it’s just a step along the journey. I don’t think God wants us to feel defeated, shattered or hopeless. I also don’t believe He wants us to see Him as someone who wants to inflict bad things on us to beat us down to submission. He loves us. He wants good for us. He isn’t taking joy in tormenting us.

After starting to grasp that EVERYTHING – literally EVERYTHING is a gift and that God uses every last thing to bring good into our lives, I have come to a different place of surrender. Now I feel an overwhelming trust.

It’s being a curious observer, absolutely knowing there is good in every single moment. It’s opening my eyes to see the good NOW. It’s trusting that the future is just like now – perfect. There’s no need to worry about the future. He’s orchestrating good there too.

I watch with hopeful anticipation to see where God is taking me and how it is all going to fall together. I have every confidence it will in the perfect way, time, place and with the right people.

My job is to put Him first — seek first to be the light He sent me here to be. I do my work, do my best, but I don’t feel the need to orchestrate, control or manipulate anything. That’s His job. Every day is a fun surprise to see where He’ll place the blessings and how things will eventually fall into place.

I hope I can stay in this place. It is the most amazing, peaceful and hopeful place. By all appearances, I should be distraught and an anxious mess, but I’m as calm as a sunny morning. God is good! Life is good! I am blessed.

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